music making & meandering

if there’s anything I can promise, it’s that life does get better. you just have be willing to ride out the times when it’s not.

Hunter Patch Adams: [standing on the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide.] So what now, huh? What do you want from me? 
Hunter Patch Adams: [looks down over cliff, a rock tumbles off] Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn’t stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you’re doing. Okay, let’s look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should’ve spent that day on compassion. 
Hunter Patch Adams: [looks down over the cliff again] You know what? You’re not worth it. 
[walks away from the cliff

couldn’t help but think about this scene today.
it’s terrible to see you go, mr. williams. 

when you dedicate a weekend to working and realize that zero makeup, top knots, and sun breaks were your best decisions…. you know that work weekends are not good.

I was sitting next to this cute old man at the park and my iphone started blaring PMW by a$ap rocky. couldn’t turn it off. still feeling bad/like I wrecked his life.

I’ve been in the midst of a pretty stressful patch of my life as of late. sleep has been pushed aside and room has been made for thinking and working as endlessly as possible.
throughout all of it, I’m trying to remember that everyone goes through these patches. some for years. some for just a day.
a world of strangers can feel communal when you realize there is someone out there going through exactly the same thing you are. and there’s something so comforting about that.
it’ll all work out.

you said you would be my dream. I could have you every night
and if, by morning, I had forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be alright.
because you are the reoccurring kind.
you never really leave my mind.

this today. and maybe everyday. 

August Rosenbaum - Dory (Grizzly Bear cover)

“and they said, is death that which gives meaning to life? and I said no, life is that which gives meaning to life.”

tonight is a night where i drove along the water with the windows down and the sun setting over the mountains in my rear view mirror, seattle skyline twinkling ahead of me. and I took a lot of deep breaths.
a humid, but cool wind was blowing my hair around and everything was…. quiet.
except for the faint hums of people walking along the beach. laughing around a crackling bonfire. the ever cooling sand below their feet.
and except for sharon van etten’s “love more” surrounding me.
tonight was magic.
things felt hopeful.

      First Watch: Bear's Den, 'Elysium'

this hit me incredibly hard. thanks to james marcus haney for making this. all of us who went to spu and those who currently go there desperately need to see beauty like this spawn from such an awful day. 

“don’t be afraid to be confused. try to remain permanently confused. anything is possible. stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.”